Lowering The Gradients According To The Persona Of The Girl

When we are referring to matters such as "relating to women", or "how to relate to women" or "Can you relate to women?", I often get asked about how to begin getting physical with a girl that you have known as a friend for some time.

Getting physical is one thing which generally occurs naturally between a guy and a girl over a three month period unless either of them is really uncomfortable on disinterested.

When a man is uncomfortable with approaching a girl for a physical relationship, the the most important thing which a guy could do to take care of that is learn how to observe and make use of gradients.

What exactly are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder which you climb to reach the top. A few guys might try to head to the top of the ladder without climbing any of the steps. And that makes the girl uneasy and also the guy.

A guy who is not comfortable in this field ought to learn both how to identify gradients when women make use of them and how to use gradients on girls.

Not all women will start at the same gradient. A few girls will begin with a kiss after a first date, and proceed steadily or quickly from there - from kissing, to making out, to petting, to heavy petting and finally to sexual relations. If a man attempts to leap to the "sexual relations" stage without going through the other gradients, he may just lose the girl. On the other hand, you may lose a girl as you are moving up the gradients too slowly.

Now other girls won't even be up to the gradient of giving you a goodnight kiss until the seventh date. Gradients for her might be: getting to know you, speaking about sexual subjects indirectly (for example commiserating regarding an ex-boyfriend), accidental touch (clashing with you while you stroll), purposeful little touches to your arm or leg, holding onto your arm while you stroll, holding your hand, and then a goodnight kiss.

If you are not comfortable with this area and wish to get physical with a girl, flirt with her, romance her, observe where she is on the gradients of sexual contact, then take her up the gradients lightly. So long as you don't by pass a lot of gradients, if she is interested, she will move up the gradients quickly or slowly depending on her persona.

If she is not interested, she probably won't move up. Try lowering the gradient and if she still doesn't budge, try speaking about it. Ask her if she is serious about a relationship with you or if she only wants to be good friends.

Don't forget that most girls won't go out on a "date" with you unless they are already vaguely okay with the idea of getting physical with you. Therefore you might want to make clear if you are dating or simply "chilling out."

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