Finding The Right Way To Meditate By Attentiveness

If you're just beginning to learn meditation, either in a guided meditation group or on your own, you work for five or ten minutes each sitting; try to sit each day at the same time, morning or evening, whatever suits you best. You allow the daily five to ten minutes to extend to fifteen or twenty minutes as the weeks follow, but you certainly don't try and stress the pace.

Meditation isn't about clenching the teeth in determination. It's about sitting peacefully with yourself, and although it requires its own kind of control this has less to do with force than with compliant and letting go.

When the certain thoughts or feelings arise, you let them to pass into and out of awareness like clouds pass in water. You don't try and push them out, but leave them to pass on their own pace. Regardless of how 'important' the thoughts seem to be or how desperate or disturbing the emotions, you don't cling to them or allow one thought or emotion to start another and another till you are down on a daydreaming trail that takes you far away from the simple matter of the in-breath and the out-breath.

If, however, you do get carried away, gently but definitely go back to your breathing the time you realize this has occurred. Avoid being impatient with yourself or persuading yourself you'll never learn how to meditate. Your wandering mind is simply pointing out to you just how much you need to train your meditation techniques. It is assisting you, prompting you, showing you how less control you have over your own thoughts. The right response is gratitude, gratitude towards that part of your mind that has recognized the fact that you are wool-gathering and that has reminded you to return to your point of focus.

I cannot overstress how important this attitude of gratitude is. If you make upset yourself each time you become aware you are lost in thought, you will not only be awakening the unwelcome emotion of self-disgust, you will be taming your mind not to remind you when it is wandering later on. You are in effect punishing it every time for reminding you, and naturally it doesn't like being punished. So it will point out to you less and less often, and you will find concentration becomes harder and harder. In response to the frustration that this brings, your mind will then start whispering conveniently to you that meditation is a total waste of effort, and that you would be well suggested to find something greater to do with your time.

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